SALES: "You want answers?"

FINANCE: "I think we are entitled to them!"

SALES: "You want answers?"

FINANCE: (YELLING): "I want the truth!"

SALES: (YELLING): "You can't handle the truth!!!"

SALES: (Continuing): Son, we live in a world that
requires revenue. And that revenue must be
brought in by people with elite skills. People
who thrive on cold-calling, rejection and false
promises. Who's going to find it? You? You, Mr
Operations? We have a greater responsibility than
you can possibly fathom. You scoff at sales
divisions and you curse our lucrative incentives,
commissions and bonus plans. You have that
luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what
we know: that while the cost of business results
are excessive, it drives in the revenue. And my
very existence, while grotesque and
incomprehensible to you, drives REVENUE! You
don't want to know the truth because deep down in
places you don't talk about at staff want me on that sales call. You
NEED me on that sales call.

We use words like discounts, licensing, business
development and global purchase agreements. We
use these words as the backbone of a life spent
negotiating contracts. You use them as a punch

I have neither the time nor the inclination to
explain myself to people who rise and sleep under
the very blanket of revenue I provide and then
question the manner in which I provide it. I
would rather you just say "thank you" and went on
your way. Otherwise I suggest you pick up the
phone and make a sales call. Either way, I don't
give a d### what you think you are entitled to.


FINANCE: "Did you expense the lap dance?"

SALES: "I did the job I was hired to do."

FINANCE: (YELLING): "Did you expense the lap

SALES: (YELLING): "You're ###### right I did!"

Dealing with LUsers is like being nibbled to
death by ducks.