The April 21st dat updates (5958.0000) (VirusScan 8.7i)are nuking all of
my systems by detecting a false positive in svchost and causing a system
shutdown. Lovely. Most people can barely get logged in before it
starts shutting down, so naturally they can't read any e-mail I want to
send them about how to work around this.

This is going to be a fan-freaking-tastic day...