An alarm clock that wakes you with one of the following, delivered in an
impeccable British accent:

"Excuse me sir. I'm so sorry to disturb you sir, but it appears to be
morning. Very inconvenient, I agree, sir. I believe it is the rotation
of the earth which is to blame, sir."

"I'm delighted you have survived another night. May I add my own
congratulations to the roar of the world's approval? Thank you, sir."

"I'm afraid the staff has absconded, sir. And it is my day off. I
trust it will not be too onerous to make your own exquisitely sliced
toast and perfectly cooked breakfast?"

"Oh dear, sir. Come come. Let us not be defeated. Let us seize the
day, and take it roughly from behind. As the Colonel used to say, in
his unfortunate manner."