Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a
coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling AAA is not an option.
I will win.
__________________________________________________ _________________

Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the
hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another
man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix
these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't
know where to start." We will then drink a couple of beers and break wind,
as a form of holy communion.
__________________________________________________ __________

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and
take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get
as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem.

__________________________________________________ ________________

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the
store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like
"cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing.

__________________________________________________ ________________

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist
on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as
much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

__________________________________________________ _________________

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand
while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show
looking for it, though one time I was able to survive by holding a
calculator instead (applies to engineers only)

__________________________________________________ _______________

Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The
true answer is always either sex, cars, sex, sports or sex. I have to make
up something else when you ask, so just don't ask.

__________________________________________________ _________________

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances
are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't . . . and if you are
feeling amorous afterwards . . then I will certainly at least remember the
name and recommend it to others.

__________________________________________________ ________________

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you
were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine
With the belt or without it, looks fine. It does not make your a** look too
big. It was the pasta and potatoes and margaritas that did that. Your hair
is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

__________________________________________________ _________________

Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2008, I will share
equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the
cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest. Like
wandering around in the garden with a beer, wondering what to do.

This has been a public service message for women to better understand men

--
Frank McCallister
COMPUMAC