And I was a very driven Boy Scout. Very driven Boy Scout! Driven
everywhere I was, and... ( chuckles ) This is such a carp joke! Other
nights I've never even said it ‘cause I thought, "It’s so carp..." I'm
just laughing that you laughed. Anyway. But I was a driven Boy Scout.
No, I was actually just driven. You know, I was just a… forget this.
Anyway, so... Yeah, I had all the badges! I had all the badges, I had
my sort of “Landing on the Moon” badge! You know, advanced badges. My
“Nuclear Fusion” badge, and my “Menachem Beguin Disguise Kit” badge,
which was great, and so I was a top scout! I was a chief scout, had my
own tribe and everything, and me and this other guy who was a chief
scout, we went on an outing as sort of chaperones for these girls who
were slightly younger than us. So it was 10 girls, two boys - pretty
good odds for a shy kid. We went to an activity center, where you climb
a tree and eat a sausage and it's kind of… It builds your character so
you know about sausages. And we end up in a swimming pool, and I'm
doing splashy splashy with this girl I really fancy. And she's doing
splashy splashy back and I'm going, "********** ‘ell, splashy back!" You
know, ‘cause splashy splashy is the aquatic equivalent of "Do you want
a cup of coffee?" Right? So splashy splashy's going well and I suddenly
think, “I know! I'll turn around, I'll do swimmy swimmy, and then maybe
she'll do swimmy swimmy too in a kind of chase me-chase me way and then
we'd do catchy catchy and underwater sexy sexy!” But I was so elated
that splashy splashy was actually working that I just swam like a boy
chased by sharky-sharky! I swam, and I swam and I swam, and I was in
Egypt when they caught up to me! And that's a long way from England.
‘cause it goes England, Venezuela, Beirut, Africa, Cincinnati, Hanging
Gardens of Babylon... It's near Switzerland. So, yeah, it was just… it
wasn't working.



--
"Moldy mildew, mother of mouthmuck, dangle and strangle to death." She
said.