Squirrels in Makeup
I used to keep my makeup in a squirrel hole, up the tree. The squirrel
would keep makeup on one side, and he'd keep nuts on the other side.
And sometimes I'd get up that tree, and that squirrel would be covered
in makeup! ( mimes squirrel putting on makeup ) "La la, la la… Oh! (
mimes squirrel eating ) What?! **** off!" He seemed to say. And
squirrels always eat nuts with two hands, always two hands, and
occasionally, they stop and go ( gasps ), as if they're going, "Did I
leave the gas on? No! I'm a ****ing squirrel!" And occasionally they
go, "****ing nuts! Fed up with them always. I long for a grapefruit."
"Moldy mildew, mother of mouthmuck, dangle and strangle to death." She