A Collection of Short Ones:
"If Java had true garbage collection, most programs would delete
themselves upon execution." -- Robert Sewell

"It is not UNIX's job to stop you from shooting your foot. If you so
choose to do so, then it is UNIX's job to deliver Mr. Bullet to Mr Foot
in the most efficient way it knows." -- Terry Lambert

User, n. The word computer professionals use when they mean "idiot." --
Dave Barry

"The most amazing achievement of the computer software industry is its
continuing cancellation of the steady and staggering gains made by the
computer hardware industry..." -- Henry Petroski

"I invented Ctrl-Alt-Delete, but Bill Gates made it famous." -- David
Bradley, original IBM PC design team

HTTP is like being married: you have to be able to handle whatever
you're given, while being very careful what you send back.

That's what I love about GUIs: They make simple tasks easier, and
complex tasks impossible. -- John William Chambless

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to
build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying
to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

December 32, 1999: We're pleased to report no Y2K failures!

"Life would be so much easier if we only had the source code."

"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in
human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila"

"If brute force doesn't solve your problems, then you aren't using

"The box said 'Required Windows 95 or better'. So, I installed LINUX."

"I had a fortune cookie the other day and it said: 'Outlook not so
good'. I said: 'Sure, but Microsoft ships it anyway'."

Timothy Leerhoff
Novell Volunteer Sysop
"Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge, others gargle"