HP enters US Bank of the Taxpayer

HP: "I'd like a loan, please"
USBoTP: "Have a seat. What is it that you're purchasing?"
HP: "Not sure"
USBoTP: "What is it's value?"
HP:" Hmmmmm"
USBoTP: "Do you have a job?
HP: "Oh yeah. At least until January. Probably. Maybe longer"
USBoTP: "What about income?"
HP: "That's the problem...no income. No money coming IN"
USBoTP: "Assets?"
HP: "I have a toxic stew of CDOs and securities"
USBoTP: "What!?!?!!?"
HP: "Nothing. Look, I really need this money"
USBoTP: "How much would you like?"
HP: "$700 Billion, maybe more"
USBoTP: "Not a problem; just sign this document and we're all set!"
HP: "Really? Wow! I got myself a NINJA loan, no strings attached!"
USBoTP: "Sure. That's how we roll!"
HP: "Uh...one more thing?"
USBoTP: "Yes?"
HP: "I need it by Friday"