So the other day I come home early and am surfing on my computer. I hear my dog yapping outside so I yell at him, but he won't be quiet.

Finally he comes in the house and his face is all dirty (like has dirt and cobwebs and things). So I figure what's he gotten into now.

So I go outside and he's dug up all the rocks around my deck and is scratching at the bottom step (desk has latticework around it--for all the good it did me).

So I figure there's a cricket or a toad or something (yes, my dog can smell crickets and toads). So I remove the one section of lattice and under he goes and I see him under the steps barking. So I figure, definitely a toad.

Until I hear him yipe because he banged his head.

So I remove the dog, put him in the house and get my flashlight and bend around the corner to see what's under there.

Imagine my surprise when I see two beady eyes and a mouth full of teeth.
It's a possum (okay, technically opossum or something)

Augh. Search the internet for how to remove a possum. Well let's see, supposedly need a trap and some kitty food. Have neither. My wonder "government" animal control is closed (it's 5:00 p.m.)

So I'm trying to get it out with a stick. It won't budge. Apparently it likes it under there (plus technically it's "daytime")

After about 45 minutes I finally decide I will have to resort to more drastic measures.

So I remove the lattice work on the side of the steps so I can get "closer" to it (hoping it doesn't rip my face off).

I get my barbeque grill tongs (we won't be using those anymore) and try to grab it and pull it out. Nope, it does not want to come out and the stupid tongs aren't strong enough to lift a possum.

I do manage to get it turned around and straighten it's tail out, so I put my gloves on and grab it by the tail and drag it out. It's like got it's front feet dragging on the ground (like on the cartoons where you drag a cat and it's like "no, I don't wanna go").

Lift it up and put it into an empty trash can while I try to then figure out what to do next. I don't wanna kill it, and as much as I'd like to throw it into the neighbor's yard, I figure it'll come back.

So we made a night-time run to some wooded area and let it loose (I'm sure I broke several laws, but this is Communist NY, so what else is new--I also eat trans-fats).

So my dog is a PHD now

Possum Huntin' Dog

Neither dog, nor possum was hurt in this adventure.